absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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