You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
