She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
