Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
