I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
