Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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