Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize