Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
