some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
