Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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