Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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