I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
