theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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