Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
