Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
