She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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