My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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