dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
