Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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