Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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