This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
