I puked a lego.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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