Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize