my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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