I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
