i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
