Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
