Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
