PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
