She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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