i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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