adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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