Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize