Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
