You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
