he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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