Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
