You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
