Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize