I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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