Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize