Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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