I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
