no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
