I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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