Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
