been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
there is glitter all over my balls
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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