Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
