Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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