You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
