Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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