there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
