He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
