i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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