Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
