so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
