i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
