how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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