Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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