i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She's the barista slut.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
