Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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