Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize