Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
